Experiment 1

Yesterday was camera test day because I wanted to get some photos done before class starts on Tuesday. Let's just say the Nikon does all the work, my friends. These haven't been through Photoshop yet, which is evident in some of them, but for the most part the Nikon takes care of little things like focus n' stuff. I'm very happy that I no longer have to trouble around with fixing red-eye anymore.

landscape

nature close up

"red eye" test

flash glare test

detail focus test (yes, that's Irving Thalberg)

tv photo test (sorry, it's ConAir -- don't ask)

self

All-in-all, very pleasing. You know, maybe this means that the machines really are smarter than the humans and the terminators will take over, but since I can't manually remove flash glare from shiny books I guess I'll be one of those sheep who follows whatever the machines tell me to do.

No, really, I was sick. I wasn't saying ... I mean, I know "Mozart" was saying, but I wasn't saying ... I was just saying I was ... oh ... hell.

Ssay (I')m Ssik

Sorry, little Mozart joke. I miss the BluRay, which is at the real house and not the house-sitting house 4 blocks away. The cousin/roommate got me Amadeus because I scored a 90 on the first econ exam. I know, no one likes it, but F. Murray Abraham is awesome. You don't believe me? Double-feature it with Scarface.

Got the same old weird thing sickness thing that I get, although it seems to be tapering off now. But it's made me not really care about what the pets do or don't do around the house and it turns out that helps with the trials of pet sitting. They were bargaining for space on my flat asleepness last night and I let them haggle it out. Screw it. My energy level is in the red. If I wake up to bits of fur tufts on the floor and the cat licking blood from her claws it's just part of nature's way as far as I'm concerned.

School starts next week, which cuts down on my blogging, but I'm playing with the camera this weekend, which cuts up on the content. We're getting a scanner next week too -- I know! We're, like, joining the 21st century n' stuff! Maybe I can send in some fun things to found.com now.

That's all. I'm at work not working and shouldn't be blogging but it's just part of nature's way as far as I'm concerned. To prove I'm a work, here's one of my favorite customer service e-mails from the past month:

I had gall bladder surgery and was cot on the right side so the only thing holding in my stomack is the flesh. I also tend to walk bent over so I would a suggestion on which product would help me

We sell office supplies. I had no suggestions.

Last night, I didn't get to sleep at all. No. NOOOOO

I'm house-sitting minding the cousin's dog and cat whom I love. I really do. Nessa is a Schnoodle and very sweet although she has a fear of television and watching Bollywood hasn't helped her with that. And Marosa is, hands down, the crankiest cat in the world (or in whole Europe, choose your reference). She's deaf, so she really pumps up the volume on meowing, and it's angry meowing because she's also very old. Imagine you're trapped in an elevator with Beethoven and he really needs a bottle of wine before the DTs kick in. It's like that. I'm constantly shouting back "WHAT?" even though I know she's deaf ... it's a good relationship.

The dog and cat tolerate one another, although the cat would rather not have to tolerate the dog and the dog is sometimes willing to push that button a little and not give in to the cranky cat, but for the most part they move in separate but equal spaces around the house. Marosa usually sleeps upstairs while Nessa takes the bed, but last night they decided they both wanted the bed. It came out something like this:
(Okay, don't make fun of the stick. It was drawn on Microsoft Paint with a Dell Mini ... you try it.) So it was kind of a Yin/Yang set up that seemed to work out fine for them, but left me stiff and cranky this morning, crying like Bach stuck in the elevator with Beethoven.

They've also decided that after 2 days they're going to test my limits and bark at the night and climb on stuff. I expect to find my underwear under the couch and a Schnoodle doodle on the carpet when I get home just to see what I'll do...

Bottom line: I'm definitely a single (pet) girl.

The more things change...

In preparation for potential conversations at a gin party on Friday I've been catching up on the Eurovision finalists at www.eurovision.tv and ... well ... okay here's the thing ... when I worked at Rizzoli in the 80s-90s we used to listen to this kind of stuff all day long (when not listening to Betty Buckley) and it grows on you in a kooky kitschy way, although Rondo Veneziano never really did. But it's like a comfortable coat, europop is. You can put it on any time and the holes are in the same place, but it's just as comfortable as the day you bought it. I mean, honestly, Patricia Kaas is in this year's Eurovision. Doesn't anything ever change over there?

Thank God for those nutty kids in Azerbaijan, that's all I'm saying. They at least try to move things a little forward. Some countries are going backwards, like Ireland. I can understand how maybe a small country like Belarus can be trapped in a cultural timewarp, but Ireland? They gave us U2 and Dustin the Turkey. It's crazy.

Winner of the best euro-biography I've read so far is definitely Finland:

After winning The Finnish Eurovision Song Contest by a clear majority of popular vote, Waldo’s People’s is ready to conquer the dance floor in Moscow with the ultimate dance hit Lose Control. Besides being a radio hit in Finland, the Misko Iho-directed video gained nearly half a million hits in YouTube over one weekend after the Eurovision victory. Waldo’s People is definitely the best europop act in Finland today, if not in whole Europe. The classic dance pop sound of the 90’s is surprisingly becoming fashionable again in the club scene all over. Will the biggest surprise hit in the Eurovision 2009 come from Finland again?

"The best europop act in Finland today, if not in whole Europe" -- I'm not sure what that means in the big picture, but I like it. When I was a kid wanted to grow up to be the Papal See, now I want to be the best europop act in whole Europe.

Something for the Headstone

I passed Yoga.

Actually maybe that should go on the bumper of the car so I can park next to all those crunchy Volvos at Saturday Market and not feel like a chemical poser. Oh yeah, and A+ in Poetry. Take THAT faerie folk! Sure four of the poems were about television, but you go with your strengths. So, let's see, that means I'll graduate with a journalism degree and some grade cred in poetry. Totally marketable assets.

Spring break was fun, all 2 days of it. The people kind of ruined things tho'. Ikea was like running with bulls in Pamplona, but with more carnage and crying. Some woman muscled me into a pallet of plastic boxes and kept on walking. What? Was I blocking you from a sale on the Felaflurs or something? Gie us a break. So we bought a cheese grater, had some meatballs and went over to Portland proper and to Powells where -- shut up -- they had the Shah Rukh Khan (unauthorized?) biography among other treasures. I kept to my list of books so we wouldn't run out the time on the parking meter, but it was difficult. I loves the books.

Oh yeah, then we bought a camera.


Nikon D40. wheet whoo. Yeah, this is someone else's photo of it. Know why? Because I haven't used it yet. Know why? Because I'm afeared of it. The cousin/roommate was letting it run on auto, random point and shoot, and it still took really nicely balanced shots, but he's a photographer and can do that. I point it around on auto and it takes pictures of the insides of my nose just before it breaks off the strap and hits the cat in the head.

This weekend I'll take it out and see if I can get some shots of the Frisbee golfers or something, and then, sure, maybe make the blog a little more interesting and even set up one of those Flickr things. I'm a little worried about toting it to school for class, so (shhh) I'm not going to let on to the professor that I have my own camera and just use the Canons they have for the students. Is that wrong?

Oh, and you thieves out there, it's registered with a driver's license id burned into it, so f-- you.

One Term Weft

Hey laughing boy ...

Finished up Econ yesterday with a solid B (low B on the final, but high B's/low A's on the other stuff, so I figure in my math terms that equals passing). Done. Done. Done.

Oh with one more term to go. We get to use Canon SLR's in the photo class next term. (Wuh -- isn't that what you have?) They're not a bad little camera, but somewhat spendy. I really, really, really, really want one -- can I keep it? Probably not. Maybe this weekend, depending on what comes back from the student loan this term, we'll start camera shopping. I'm running out of patience with the police department here and while we can probably wait longer on the Blu-Rays, not knowing if the camera is even in the crime lab or not is super frustrating. We should upgrade from the Pentax anyway.

These are my justifications and I'm sticking to them. We're buying a Canon.

So Spring Break starts today and I'm going to work and then tomorrow we're going to Ikea in Portland. That's my break. Next week I'm house-sitting for the cousin who is going to Georgia to look for a job with her husband who already has a job. I like their pets much, but their shower will be torn out and they don't have Playstation, but they have gas appliances, so I guess it balances out.

After break it's the last go with U of O. I will be a marketable commodity in 4 months. wee. ha.

Today is a Good Day

AIG bonus scandals -- fah.

How happy am I that Steve-O is still on Dancing With the Stars? He's going to win. You can't beat a professionally trained clown.

March comes in like a lion

Usually in Oregon March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a lion. This year it couldn't wait and decided whip up in the middle of the month. Up until now we've just had more of that boring ice and snow (from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow). Today it's really blasting through, which makes it even spookier when I submit to you that this house is haunted.

Yes, I know, I've said it before and been chuckled at, but the lounge chair in the ballroom moved on its own toward the window. I didn't see it move, but the cousin didn't do it and I didn't do it, and unless Veda has developed some super kitten strength, I know she didn't do it. Although, sure, there's always that possiblity. She's scrappy and has started watching television (with a nutty preference for the old Star Trek), so maybe she's got some kind of weird power -- is that more exciting than ghosts ... yeah, I guess it is. Okay, the house isn't haunted.

Speaking of animals doing weird things, I now work for Dunder Mifflin Infinity and hope one day to have earned enough Schrute Bucks to put a plant on my desk. The internet is a wonderful world.

Whoa ... is that the theme song from Stayin' Alive that I hear on the tv...? IT IS

Who's that writin? (john the revelator)

I'm in the student union and it smells funny in here. I suspect it's the young hippy types at the table next to me, but I just sat down so I don't know if it'll look bad to get up again. Pretty soon tho ... it's going to break me down.

Taking a break from writing about Gray Gardens because I'm starting to dream in Little Edie's voice. "It's just like dancing, freedom is" and junk like that. Documentary? Mockumentary? Both or neither? Those are my questions. I saw a clip from the HBO movie with Jessica Lange as Edith Beale and Drew Barrymore as Little Edie -- and I didn't think Drew could do it, really. She's so different, but then she starts talking "it's a skirt, but you can also wear it as a cape" and it's spooky good. I'm trying to talk cousin/roommate into HBO for April, maybe some kind of trial thing that we can easily cancel.

The term is nearly over and senioritis is turning into early nostalgia. I'm going to miss these stinky obnoxious kids. They definitely give color to the day. And I like writing papers. Sure, they get involved sometimes and I dream about them (or about characters in them or as characters in them), but I really like putting down that argument and backing it up with evidence. It's the frustrated lawyer in me. I wish there was some chance that this would turn into a regular reporting gig somewhere, but there's no chance. An editor from the Boston Globe is coming to campus in a few weeks, but I predict he won't have much in the way of hope for us gradueets. Has the San Francisco Chronicle closed yet?

So it goes.

I'll always have dear little blog, home to my thoughts and experiences and ... ... and I can't take it anymore. I'm going outside. I don't care how cold it is. Dude. What generates a smell like that?

This is why we need a camera

I'm taking Photojournalism in the Spring. This is how my cellphone takes a picture. Cows? Dogs? No, they're sheep. I was about 50 ft. away ... maybe.

Dude.

Oh my God, yeah, like, I can't, like, begin to, like, say how much I, like, have, like, totally lost patience with these kids, you know. Like, listening to them, like, talk and stuff, like, about, like, that party last week, that was, like, so totally awesome, and, like, that girl, like, the one, like, with the blonde hair that, like, totally likes Cody, like, remember, like how she, like, got, like, totally drunk. That was SO funny.

I can't relate to 99.9% of this campus.

Yes, Archival Clothing, the apocalypse is coming, although I suspect that when the rapture comes and the minivans will be unmanned all the good French bikes will still have riders and I'll be out of luck.

Don't read the news, YOU'LL KILL YOURSELF!

Our student newspaper is on strike because the university used the economy as an excuse to be unethical (we're running out of revenue ... I know, let's hire some guy at an outrageous salary and put him in charge of the student paper. So what he's not a student. We'll make him journalism school faculty that way the team will be afraid to print bad things about the college).

In a New York Times story about the Amazon Kindle thing Steve Jobs is quoted as saying "the whole concept is flawed at the top because people don't read anymore." I have many objections myself to Kindle, but Steve's take on it wasn't one of them ... until now.

In the Business Day cover story in the same paper is an article about how cable companies are going to start using target advertising without telling you first (except for that wee line item in the Privacy Policy that comes in your monthly statement and that no one reads because the print is written by ants blocking out the letters with inkblot shoes).

Dogs and cats living together, it's mass hysteria. I want a new world.

One size does not fit all

When I was a kid I was heavy into the vintage look. It was the style at the time. In fact, I want to go on record that Natalie Merchant stole the look from me when she was in 10,000 Maniacs. I know, she was on the other side of the country and we never met and our circles didn't exactly overlap, but STILL ... I was totally wearing beltless 40's shifts before she was.

I would haunt a regular round of vintage shops in California looking for the next great party dress (something I could get drunk in an tear a hole through usually), but most of the dresses I tried on were HUGE. They had these giant busty tops and shoulders and waists that needed bunching or scarfing around for a tuck.

I wasn't slim, mind you. I think I've always hovered around the 120 mark ... which is now around the 140... ANYWAY ... I wasn't waify by any stretch and these things were like tents.

Now that I'm shopping for the next great graduation dress everything I'm finding is too f...king small. Who the hell has a 38" bust with a 28" waist? I'm not a giant, but gar ... there's no way, even with a nipper. Oh, but here's one with the 36" bust AND 26" waist. Where was this stuff when I was 22?

Screw it. I'm going to JCrew.