Dir. Robert Enter the Dragon Clouse
Starring: Jim Kelly, Gloria Hendry, Scatman Crothers
ooowhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaOkay, so first of all, what the hell happened last night, refs? Musberger? I mean, I know the sun shines out of Cam Newton's behind, but I didn't think he was savior of the universe. I'm surprised we were able to sack him THREE TIMES after hearing how that was impossible. Anyway, we didn't win, but we tied it up at the last minute, which was satisfying after all the crappy calls. Man, if I can spot holding it's got to be obvious.
So, I'm trying to watch movies that will give me strength. My days now consist largely of doing stuff in between naps. Everything requires a rest period -- this blog will likely require a rest period -- and I'm looking for physical inspiration in my media viewing. The Ducks kind of had it there for a little while, but Black Belt Jones has it to the max, friends.
Don't miss and hit your hot Jensen Interceptor, BBIt was interesting to watch a Blaxploitation movie after having seen so many of the Amitabh Bachchan "Vijay" films of the same period. There are a lot of similarities between Blaxploitation to action Bollywood and it was interesting to draw the parallels. I mean, really, you take away the sex and the salty language and add a few songs and Amrish Puri and you've got a Bollywood.
It's even got the sunset romance moment --a song here would be perfect
Think about it, movies where whitey gets payback would be very appealing in post-colonial India. I'd definitely be inspired. Hell, I am now. Let's go kick whitey ... oh wait, that's me. Fehhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
But, even on top of the Black Power plot here is a juicy subplot of Girl Power. First of all, do I love anyone right now more than Gloria Hendry? She is my idol. I want to be Gloria Hendry. I want to look like her, talk like her and whoop ass like her.
Want a piece of me, suckah? You just try itLive and Let Die was a shaky start, sure, but she more than makes up for it in Black Belt Jones. She kicks everyone's ass in this movie, even Black Belt's, and she does it all with this quiet little voice. "Where's Pinky?" "Mama, you get out of here." "I ain't your mama. Now where's Pinky?" followed shortly by the somewhat startling threat "I'm gonna make you look like a sick faggot." Whoa! And then she DOES! She drops 5 guys all while in a mourning dress and tights! How can you not want to emulate that?
It'll work. I saw this in Five for Hell...Then we have this weird center section where Black Belt and Sydney (that's Gloria) plan to break into some Mafia guy's winery. But does Black Belt go to the karate school to get help? No way. He uses four girls that he's been training for the circus? Vegas? the Olympics? I don't know. Whatever. He gets help from four girls, including one named Pickles, who practice on a trampoline outside his beach house.
They break in, get the money and run those white guys into the ground. You go, girls!
Karate + New Orleans music = funeral? You betchaJim Kelly is great in action as Black Belt, although he's not much of an actor. But that's okay. He's got the Bruce Lee noises and the moves and he's very polite. I liked him. It was good to see him crack down on the gumbahs. (I know those are my people, but that's how much I loves this movie. We was askin' for it, yeah.)
Stereotypes? Yes. A little shaky on the plot? Yes. Some white cop barking "But God DAMMIT, man"? Yes. It's got everything and more. Scatman shows up for a little while to argue with this woman ("Papa, I'm gonna slap the black off you") and then there are the Bogarts. You'll just have to see for yourself what a Bogart is.
It's even got Isaac, your bartender.
What do you mean you want a Mai-Tai, mutha-fuc....?
4 comments:
Like the Blaxploitation/Bollywood connection. I can just see the dance numbers.
No, no, they looked like nice wholesome girls with pony tails, facial blemishes and everything. I thought I heard one of them say something about a circus, but all they appeared to do for training was jump on a trampoline. Somehow that translated into kooky karate moves while "on the job."
Flora, this had plenty of room for songs. I can't believe there isn't an Amitabh Bachchan version out there somewhere: "Black Belt Vijay"
So I was getting ready to write up my own review of BLACK BELT JONES and was looking for a picture. Obviously, I found it here. This was written very excellently though, so now I'm afraid to have to live up to this. Thanks for the pic (which will link to your site), but goddamn you on being able to construct sentences and be funny at the same time!
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