A Movie Nearly Every Night: The Bedroom Window

The Bedroom Window (1987)
Dir. Curtis Hanson
Starring: Steve Guttenberg, Elizabeth McGovern, Isabelle Huppert

yep, they're looking out the bedroom window

Okay, so I know what you're going to say: "Li'l Hateful, you've watched some cheesy movies in your time, but what the hell is going on here? Steve Guttenberg?!?"

Friends, one word: Diner.

Oh yeah, and did you see his guest spot on Party Down? He's a genius. But, alas, not a complete genius because he's only as good as his material. Put him in crap and it's still crap. But put him in something somewhat decent and he's somewhat decent. He's somewhat decent in The Bedroom Window.

don't you love her coat? I love her coat

The cousin/roommate, who refused to dual review this on personal and religious grounds, said it didn't suck, but it wasn't great. He called it Cinemaxy.

It is a bit, but it doesn't suck. It's Curtis Hanson and you can see a little of the eye behind L.A. Confidential here. But, no, it's not a great movie.

So Steve's Terry Lambert is schtooping Sylvia, the boss's wife played by Isabelle Huppert. After some naughtiness Terry gets up to pee and Sylvia hears screaming and goes to the *bedroom window* (ahhhhhh there's the title) and sees Elizabeth McGovern get attacked outside the apartment. Terry misses the whole thing, but agrees to be Sylvia's proxy to the cops so Sylvia doesn't have to out their affair to her crazy husband, who likes to toy with Bugsy Siegel's gold-plated automatic .45 while sitting sprawled at his desk in the office.

Anyway, Terry screws it up and things don't go well after that.

worried? confused? friends, he's both for most of the picture

Terry isn't too smart and isn't too dumb, but he's a little too cocky and it gets him into trouble with everybody. Of course he's going to try and play detective (because he's cocky) and he's not going to succeed (because he's not too smart). Played by someone a little more earnest and Terry would be kind of boring. As it is, Steve is believable and and you wait for him to screw up, because you know he will just like a real person. He's less a movie character and more like some guy you might have been sitting next to in 11th grade algebra who cheated off you, but would give you half his lunch in payment. He's nice, just not too bright. Sure, he has his moments, but for the most part he drifts through these situations hoping they'll sort themselves out and then when they don't and he tries to "fix it" they get worse.

And he's no match for the ladies.

"How can I turn this zeetuation eento my favor ...
I know, screw over Terry. Seemple"

Isabelle Huppert is a sly and devious Sylvia. "She knows what she's doing," says Elizabeth McGovern. Oh hell, yes. She's quick to throw Terry under the bus and he's dopey enough to drop. So much so you want to slap him around. But this is good. It's an odd relationship they have and you don't wonder why she'd sleep with him --- seems like a nice enough guy, kind of a dip, but he's willing to buy French wine and be romantic --- but you do wonder why he puts up with her nonsense.

At the line-up where things start to not add-up

Elizabeth McGovern is Denise, a barmaid who gets attacked outside *the bedroom window* (title again!) and survives, but can't ID the attacker and didn't see who was watching from the window, although she figures out pretty quickly that it wasn't Terry.

awww she's so cute

Denise is a good character. I mean, Elizabeth McGovern has a lot of moxie anyway, and that's why the roommate and I rented this a long, long time ago (my roommate, Mollie, also kind of looked like her). She's someone you could hang out with at a bar and so is Denise. She starts the movie as a victim, but she's not an idiot. She spots Terry as an idiot and Sylvia as a beast, but they don't listen to her so she lets them be idiot and beast. But, she says, they'd better put that guy away that attacked her or she's going to say something to somebody.

However, unfortunately for her character and the movie's credibility as a whole, Denise does have the somewhat cinematic stupid idea of trapping the guy herself. Unlike Terry, you don't want her to fail, but it's bound go wrong to because this is Hollywood. I mean, you know Terry's going to screw it up somehow, but you don't want Denise to fail. She's good people.

tastes like ... eeuuw chalk

So she puts on some hooker clothes, a wig, indulges in some saucy behavior and shoots pool with this guy--


Remember him? I'll help out you non-nerds: "Mr. Potato Head! Mr. Potato Head! Remember you told me to tell you when you were acting rudely and insensitively? Remember that? You're doing it right now."

Wargames was my first date movie .... heh ....

Anyway, set pieces, it's got a few, like this creepy beginning. What the f...?!?

Zombie George Washington is coming for YOU

That's the first shot of the movie! Okay, blind guy ... Terry doesn't see what happens ... killer has albino eyes ... ah ... no ... no it's not going together. It's just creepy.

There are a few shots of the bar where Denise works. It's this place called Edgar's, which has Edgar Allan Poe-inspired decor:

Oh yes ... very cool

Sylvia and Terry try to sort things out in the Baltimore Aquarium and that's kind of fun. They both look good in fish lighting.

"Why are zeese feesh not een butter?"

And, top it off! The best moment of the film: Wallace Shawn steps in briefly for a turn as the bad guy's canny lawyer.

Guilty, Your Honor? It's INCONCEIVABLE!