My Big Fat College Book Deal

So I've come up with my pitch ... or my title without the pitch:

Thank You For Spiking The Curve: Adventures of a 40 Year-Old Undergrad

I think of it as a how-to book, as in how not to blow your retirement on your kid's college education. Among the quotable gems (just from this week alone):

"I haven't cracked a book since I started school and I'm already a Sophmore." Followed by "I take all of my classes pass/no pass, but I haven't passed one yet except for the gym ones."

Related
"I just can't get up the enthusiasm to go into Pool class. It's too late in the day to interest me." (yeah, we have a class on shooting pool. We also have bowling, trampoline and fly fishing. His companion in this conversation is taking badminton next term.)

"That was my favorite film because it was the shortest. If the teacher"(sic)"had been there we'd have had a lecture, which would have sucked."

Plus other tidbits from faculty friends. Too bad it's all real or I'd probably have a publisher already. Maybe if I did it as a graphic memoir ... except I can't drawr drawrings.

Speaking of, and raking up, sent the cousin (sister of the cousin/roommate) the link to the New York Times article where Whiteaker is described as the ghetto. She had no idea, and now has suitable shame. She doesn't know "Peggy" personally, but is aware of the pit bulls she used to raise (apparently for "the Bloods").

Eugene, Eugene, it's a wonderful town. Fairmount is up and Whiteaker's down -- Eugene, EUGENE! It's a wonderful town!