Wrong-Way Hateful

Platelet Count: 88

Normally that would be pretty good, except that I was pounding steroids like Barry Bonds all weekend and that number should have at least topped 100. Not satisfactory, but better than 20, yeah?

Okay, well, you want to be updated. I don't blame you. I've got 4 hours in the chemo room, why not use it? Sure ... here it comes:

Treatment is not going well. Pain levels are increasing and new pain keeps rearing its ugly head. This is not the desired result of chemo that's supposed to be regressing lesions. Add to this, there are now "abnormalities" in my liver. Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeat. I'm officially off the chemo as of last night and waiting for a CT scan (Thursday) and an MRI (Friday) to see where we go next. This stuff is just not cutting it and is probably making everything worse. Coming soon: probably one of the hair-loss ones. Meh, bring it on.

What about the platelets? Geez, I just don't know what to tell you there. This Rituximab needs to start doing its flipping job, end of story. Otherwise it's this junk called nPlate and there are risks with that. Anything that requires 4 pages of release forms can't be good, but I have to jack up the platelets so the chemo can knock 'em down or this isn't going to work.

Not good news, no. Sorry. I should have warned you that it sucked.

So, there you are.

Now, listen you my people, I know you want to help. I know you want to visit. I know you want to be there for me and make things better for me and keep up my spirits. Just knowing that makes me happy. Truly. You don't have to do anything, my friends. Just knowing that you're there, just knowing that you're in my corner and that you care and that you're thinking about me, is enough. I'm scared, worried, tired and my bones hurt like a mutha, but knowing you're there gives me comfort even on the worst days.

The drugs are kicking in through the IV, so I've got to close this down before I start babbling ... oh, wait, too late ...

Today begins the work from home schedule and that has taken loads of stress off my plate. Tomorrow will be tomorrow and we'll just see what happens. Yes?

Yes.