A Movie Nearly Every Night: Return of the Jedi

Star Wars Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
Dir. Richard Marquand
Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams (whoo!)


Yeah, we've all seen it. They're building a new Death Star, Luke's got finish his Jedi training, Jabba blah blah blah, cheering as Ewoks get exploded --- you don't need me to tell you about the basics. We threw this on to follow The Empire Strikes Back (1980) as part of the natural progression of all things Star Wars, but I've never really liked it much compared to the others. That means I could sit back and let it wash a little more over me without getting too involved.

And then I went and got involved anyway.

Like, why is it that the first paragraph of that opening is all about Luke and Han and no mention of Princess Leia?!? She's running things at the rebel base and making big decisions and, flippin' A, she's even got Jedi skills!

Nothin. We've got to talk about the men and it just keeps getting worse.

Triumph of the White Costume Design

So we start on the new Death Star, right? And all of the obvious comparisons to Nazi Germany are there --- Stormtroopers, the way they line up by section, the uniforms. I mean, der. We're not new. But as Darth Vader is threatening poor frazzled weapons contractor guy, it occurred to me that there's no reason to work for these people. Not that there were legit reasons to work for the Nazis other than keeping yourself from getting camped, but based on the World War II movies I've seen there were some perks to rising in power.

But what the hell are the perks on the Death Star? Where are the cabarets? Where are the stolen works of art and the shiny metals? There's not even a Death Star Youth. And what kind of people do they hire anyway? Certainly no women.

They laugh alike, they walk alike,
at times they even talk alike, you can lose your mind...

Apparently you just need to be a Boy, Bland, British, and Brown-Haired. So Leni Riefenstahl need not apply.

Let's contrast that to "vile gangster" Jabba the Hutt.

Hair stylists? check. Good times? check.

It was the style at the time.

Okay, so maybe the women are hookers or singers, but it's work and it comes with drinks and dancing. And the men are bounty hunters or guards, so it's not any better for them really. Besides, it's not like he's beating you with a whip or making you march around in a uniform. Jabba doesn't even care what you look like. Heavy? Come on in and chicken dance all you want, sweetheart.

God love 'er

Okay, so on both the Death Star and Jabba's place you can get killed on a whim. I'm not going to deny that. You bolt that sheet metal on too loose and Darth Vader will snap your neck. Deny Jabba a little lick of your face and you get eaten by a monster. Meh. The difference is you have a much better time before your exit at Jabba's than you do on the Death Star.

Even R2D2 seems okay with his job serving drinks on the barge. No complaints from him until that whingey C3P0 knocks him over.

Cocktail? Canape?

Now, I know what you're going to say. Princess Leia. Let's get back to Leia and her metal bikini.

Luke, geez ... this is awkward

Sure, when Luke comes in she tries to hide behind Jabba's frog bowl (with no success) because who wants to be on display like that in front of your brother? But so what? She kills the guy! She kills Jabba! With her own girl power!

Friends, that's what I'm saying. That's where the power is. It's Leia and natural strength, not these men with their Death Star nonsense and big machines to prove their galaxy macho-ness. She doesn't need a light saber or blaster to take out her enemies. She doesn't need a space station with a laser probe. She just gets up there and does the job.

Leia is twice the Jedi of Luke, I don't care what anyone says. She's got moxie and her rebels take out the Death Star --- HER rebels, friends. Not Luke's. Or Han's. Those guys just work for her, same as anyone else.

By the way, does it seem kind of unfair to anyone else that the galaxy relies on 15 guys in tie-fighters to release them from the clutches of the Empire? All these places celebrating at the end after doing f-all to help out and you know someone on some planet's going to want to take over. It'll be anarchy or another empire.

Unless Leia takes charge.

You GO girl.