Zoinks!

Platelet Count: 314

Steroids gave me a rush to see through New Year's Eve and shot my counts WAAYYYYY out there. I don't think I've ever been this high in platelets in my life. I'm just like you people and you people and you people.

Today anyway. Today I'm just like you.

So biopsy results are not back yet, but the doctor thinks that if steroids can help my bone marrow do this kind of work, that there's not much to worry about. I started taking my Xeloda this morning.

Yes, I went with the hand-and-foot syndrome home-chemo rather than infusions in the chemo room and losing my hair. The discussion boards at breastcancer.org were very helpful. Many of the ladies had a lot of success on Xeloda and they said the side effects are pretty mild compared to the others. Abraxane, on top of the hair loss, had runny nose issues (probably associated with losing hair in your nose) and other weird things that made me table that one for a second shot if the Xeloda doesn't work.

So I have pills for chemo, pills for pain, pills if I have to barf, lotion if I get blisters, powder if I can't go to the bathroom and pills if I go too much. I'm lowering my caffeine intake (no, really) and upping my clear liquids. I'm cutting down my meals and eating better things, and I'm going to rest when I'm tired and not push myself too hard anymore. The rush student life is over. I'm going to take it easy for a while now. It will get better.

Through her cancer Kelly always talked about hope. No matter what was happening, she would always believe that there was hope for better things. I've had a really hard time with that concept without her. It's been a struggle to believe it because everything that happened last year just made hope feel like a fairy tale. But, Kel, I get it now. I have hope that this is going to be a new year. I have hope that this will work and things will sort themselves out. I have hope that even if it doesn't work, I'll be able to handle it better than I have in the past. I believe in hope and I'll keep believing in it for you.