The holidays have this habit of making non-internet people go online and harass internet people. At my office we have to be both the Walmart Greeter and head clerk at the Nordstrom Ladies Shoe Department. You have to put on that shiny face and pretend that the 1000th phone call you're receiving is your first of the day and then you have to scan the catalog for product after product after product after product only for them to say "Can I get this cheaper somewhere else?"
Why doesn't Santa make everything? That would be so much easier. I'd be out of a job, but screw it. Let the elves sort it out, man. This blows.
If the other kids in the department weren't playing that effing Christmas music all day I might be able to hang on to my wits better. Sometimes (usually in the middle of a Kenny G carol or one of the American Idol finalists belting out "O Holy Night" oh night ... deVINE) I just want to put a brick through something ... like my head.
Other brick breaking stories:
I've turned in the Honda for fixin' and I'm driving a Mitsubishi something for the next 4 days. Dude, it's so rental. I'm so close to the road I might as well put my feet through the floor to start it up like Fred and Barney. But it has a CD player and really nice heat. I just have to keep from stomping the brake while looking for the absent clutch ... fah ... automatics ...
I'm a genius at school with an A+ in sociology (kids, society is unequal, let me tell you) and a P for pass in Astronomy. The verdict is still out on journalism, but I got an A on the final project and an A- on my feature story so that's got to rate for something, right? whatever. school's for swabs.
And Hatton lost to "Money" Mayweather, so Santa is a welcher ... which is fine because Mayweather's better n' stuff, but, jaysis, he sure can mouth off.
Monday, December 10, 2007
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2 comments:
Almost makes you kinda wish that all you had to suffer through was that goddamn Manheim Steamroller christmas album we were always pushin' back in the day. Or, that feckin' George Winston...At least you could always pop into the back room where I'd be blasting some Pearl Jam or Geto Boys...Too bad they never did a Xmas album. I can hear it now..."Santa comin' down the f@#kin' chimney...I blow his head off, with my muthaf#&kin uzi!"...Now I feel all warm and toasty inside...
The Mannheim Steamroller "Deck the Halls" still has the power to send me into convulsions.
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