Wiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllssooonnnnnnnnnnn

Dear Owen,

Sorry to hear about your recent upsets. The movies aren't big successes and, I know, Disney pays peanuts for voice over work. Why do you think Cliff Edwards died broke and alcoholic? Oh sure, Walt paid for his funeral, but too little too late, I say.

And I know you're nearing 40 and the playboy lifestyle is starting to feel sordid and empty -- how long can you really pretend you're 20? Honestly. But, 40 isn't as bad as you keep hearing. Yeah, your friends are married with kids, but they'll be divorced by the time you're really ready to settle down at 45 or 50. Fah, look at Clooney. He's nowhere near settling, but he has other interests than throwing down a key and getting cocktails from a bunny. Doesn't make him any less a solid bachelor.

What I'm saying is the next time you feel down, put on some Charles Aznavour. I recommend "Les Plaisirs Démodés" for the really bad days.

And, for heaven's sake, let go of Hollywood, sugar. It's a turgid hole that's sucking you dry. Settle in someplace and start writing again. You're good -- really good -- at that. I always suspected the moments of wit and sincerity were your contributions to "Bottle Rocket" and "Rushmore" -- really, the heart seemed to be cut out of "The Life Aquatic".

If you want to borrow my Aznavour, let me know.

- l'il hateful