Dir. Irvin Kershner
Starring: Sean Connery, Kim Basinger, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Barbara Carrera
"Let's shee, it goesh 1 and 2 and schwing and schtep and..." The cousin/roommate and I like to watch James Bond movies -- I was going to say "occasionally" but really it's all the time. If they're on television we get hypnotized into watching, and we have them on dvd and Bluray and pop one in whenever there's nothing on TV. He likes On Her Majesty's Secret Service. I prefer You Only Live Twice, but really, there's not a Bond movie we don't like ... oh ... except maybe The Spy Who Loved Me. (I confess a guilty attraction to Octopussy ... I like the circus, okay?)
So when Never Say Never Again came out on Bluray, the c/r bought it right away. I wasn't so sure. As kids we'd gone to see it as a "family event" with dinner in Los Angeles and a trip to Mann's Chinese Theatre, but even then it seemed kind of crass and lacking.
Bond plays for control of the U.S. ... shockingSo I turn to the cousin/roommate to help me with this post, because I'm just not sure I can give it up for the return of Sean.
"I made you all wet.""Yes, but my martini is still dry." ba boom Honestly, did they drive a dump-truck full of money up to his house or did he lose a bet or what? Connery's a complete post in this movie. - Yeah. Well, he left on very poor terms with Cubby Broccoli. Part of it ... Let's just say he didn't really have a whole lot of loyalty toward the old production. - So he sabotaged this with wooden acting? - I don't know how anybody could read that script without getting depressed because it's really horrible. But I guess he needed the money and he did it. It didn't seem like such a travesty when I saw it first as a kid, but it sure does now. - Good thing the supporting people are around to make it worthwhile.
"The power of Christ compels you to act, kitty."Max Von Sydow's in it about 5 minutes and look at how he works that cat. He's giving everything to the job, no matter how small. - Actually, I think Blofeld has a smaller part in the original Thunderball. All he does is chastise an employee, kill another and pet his cat. - They definitely made it a bigger part for Max in this re-tread. - Oh yeah. But he was coming off stuff like Flash Gordon, so it was almost like a step up for him.
Confidentially, Sean, I'm intentionally taking up the entire frame.Hard cheese for you, old man.
We didn't even know who Mr. Bean was back then. - I think this is is first role. It's definitely the first time I'd ever seen him, but he left an impression. - The schtick is definitely there.
"Fatima Blush" in a hat with dagger accents. Wicked.Barbara Carrera's awesome. She looks like someone you could spend time with at the bar. - So much could be said about poor Barbara. This and Lone Wolf McQuade were the only 2 significant films of her career. She was a Playboy centerfold, did these 2 movies and then dropped off the face of the earth. - Well, she did Dallas later, but I think the real star of the movie is Klaus Maria Brandauer.
He's kind of cute, kind of jolly, kind of evilNo. - Yes! - Klaus? - He's an awesome Bond villain. He's sort of nice most of the time -- his yacht crew likes him anyway -- and he has charity functions for children and then he kills people. - No way, Barbara Carrera steals the show. - Come on, as Bond villains go he's great: he's got the mysterious foreign accent, he's suave, he dresses well, he has a yacht. - That's his strong point is his yacht. Otherwise he's kind of a wanker because he likes to watch Kim Basinger through two-way glass and he's into video games. He's kind of a Euro-nerd.
Play for the rest of the world and your future career...Which brings us to that game, World Domination, the centerpiece of the movie. It's like Oliver Reed and Alan Bates wrestling on the floor in Women in Love, but these guys use Atari as the go-between. - It's just a pissing match. - But it's so serious and Klaus does this pre-joystick ritual before the game starts: waving his hands around, then in, then back out again to take up the sticks.
And then he's got the after-game hand blowing. He's an improvisational genius. It's the best part of the movie.
No, by far the best part of the movie is the rocket jet pack.
It really brings to the forefront how desperate these people were to show off the gadgets that had become such a part of the later Bonds without even having the competency to execute it or Roger Moore, who was a clown and could have pulled it off with that whimsical smile on his face. Instead we have this ... I don't know ... non-plussed, uninvolved Connery.
Honestly, I'd forgotten about the rockets, but then again the only thing I really remembered from seeing this movie originally was the Kim and Klaus spit-bridge.
eeuwI'm surprised you're putting so much into this poopy Bond.
Well, anyway, it was better than O.K. Connery.
2 comments:
Ok...that was some kick ass reviewing. When I was a kid I was all about the Connery Bond...Goldfinger, Thunderball, Diamonds Are Forever. That was the REAL Bond. My Bond snobbery didn't, or course, prevent multiple viewings of the Moore series, but if pressed I had to uphold my purist stance. So, when this one came out, I was eager for some of that ol' Connery/Bond magic...yeah, right. my disappointment even then was nearly complete. Anyway, you're spot on, Carrera and Klaus are what definitely makes this one bearable. I totally didn't remember Mr. Bean, though.
its a shame cause Fatima Blush was the best thing in this movie!!! she was an amazing villain!
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