then the bottom fell out

If you've been watching the blog Notions and Threads and My Mother's Apron Strings you'll know by now that my friend Kelly has been in the hospital the past couple of weeks. She also has metastasized breast cancer -- hers went to her liver. She went through chemo, the whole works and now Kandyce, Kelly's best friend and blog partner has posted this today:

And so it goes...
Oh my dear friends,I am heading back to Kentucky. The day after I posted last, Kelly's levels all moved in the wrong direction. They have continued on that course and now her kidney's are shutting down as well. Kelly's Dr.'s have said there is truly nothing else that can be done and she is being moved home. I really don't know what to say other than my heart is breaking. Please continue your prayers for her, her family, for me.

I'm completely devastated by this news in so many ways. I can't make it make sense and I can't believe I have to stay here at work and deal with it. I'm not holding together very well sitting here typing this and listening to someone on the phone telling me to "have a great night" and trying not to let my voice break when I say "mm hmm you too."

I don't want to lose my friend, my companion, my hope, my heart. I hate this disease. I hate having it. I hate what it does. I hate that we have to go through this crap and still have it end up like this.

I may not blog for a while. Or I may blog more. Hate is a great motivator. Although sadness is not.