I know this is an outpatient procedure. It's no big deal. People do them every day. What the hell do I have to be worried about? They go in, stuff comes out, it's done. Sleep, wake up, it's over.
And, sure, the majority of the questions are easy like "Have you ever tested positive for TB" or "Special diet - Yes?" But I get hung up circling the face that shows how much pain I have now or questions like "Do you snore loudly?" Because why? Will that trouble the surgeon? I mean, yes, I do snore loudly, but it's one of those questions like "Are you claustrophobic?" where it doesn't mean anything in terms of how the procedure is done, it's just whether or not it'll be uncomfortable for everyone else in the room. I don't think I make "gasping and/or choking noises" but I'm asleep, so maybe I do, I don't know, do I have to answer it now? I don't know. I don't know!
But, most of all, this keeps reminding me of The Verdict and I keep hearing James Mason telling Wesley Addy "Just say it: She threw up in her mask"
"Cut the bullshit, please."and seeing Lindsay Crouse holding up that admissions form ("It must be disallowed") and crying "Who were these men? I wanted to be a nurse!"
So I have the surgery fear and, yes, I do think it's fair to blame it on David Mamet.
4 comments:
Don't be afraid, little one. It really is easier than it sounds. I remember being rolled into the OR and wondering why the doctors' scrubs were so wrinkled. Never saw that on TV. Don't know why I even noticed.
Go ahead and blame Mamet. He can take it.
I had surgery when I was in the 8th grade, to repair a variety of abdominal hernias that were supposed to go away shortly after birth, but just got worse. It was good old fashioned surgery (none of that "lollypop" stuff folks have nowadays), but included a laser, which I thought was so cool! Or, "awesome" and "rad". This was the 80s after all.
Anyway, I'll regale you with the story soon (basically it was no big thing). You'll be fine! However, don't believe the anesthesiologist if s/he said you'll taste pizza as you're going under. It was a totally lie. Where was the cheese, huh?
Sheesh.
They told you that? "You'll taste pizza." That's so wrong. I hope you woke up and punched them. Tonight the cousin/roommate and I are going to try meditation, so maybe it'll help me grow some bravery to fill out the form. Focus on the outcome, not on James Mason ... focus on the outcome, not James Mason ...
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