What's that on your head? A Wig!

My "So You've Got Cancer" books say to shop early (and shop often) for head coverings. Again, you may not lose your hair, but if you do, chump to you if you haven't already bought something to cover it.

So to date I have one head scarf and two Halloween wigs. Although the Velma-Scooby-Doo wig I'm not seriously considering because it's got kind of a pointy top ... or maybe that's my head ... but absolutely the blonde Star Trek hair will come out if I can get the campfire smoke smell out of it.

Yeah, okay, it's got purple fairy streaks in it, but it's softer and more manageable than my real hair, and it looks great with those big plastic earrings. But will it work for the office? A girl's got to think of her public image and that's where Raquel Welch comes in.

Thank God my mom's retired because she gets caught up on all the trends from The View and Regis and Kelly. We have an automatic toothpaste dispenser because of it and now I have access to the most fabulous wig collection ever: Raquel Welch Wigs.

I honestly don't know what I love more, the fact that these don't look like wigs at all or that Raquel models most of them. And the names are fantastic: Bewitched, Excite, Foxy, Mystique. She's sexy Raquel Welch, people, and her name is on a real wig collection, not a kooky wig collection, but real live actual normal haircuts. It's crazy and I love it. Problem is, there's no way to match the model.

Mom favors the shorter ones, which would be easier to keep tidy, sure, but I've done short hair before and it didn't look anything like Raquel.

As if I could even begin to pull something like that off. No way. It's even got an intimidating name: Power.

Yeah, that's me all over.

For medium length mom and I decided we both liked Siren.

It's got that Mary-Ann-the-good-girl look to it, but then we realized up here it might be mistaken for a mullet, especially in Springfield, so that's out. I mean, if Raquel wore it, she'd be a knock-out. Me, on the other hand, I'd be giggled at by kids with purple mohawks.

So maybe the scarf is good for office wear and maybe I just need the festive wig for the big nights out, like at the opera or one of those tony hot spots we have all over Eugene. A girl has to keep her spirits up and mingle with other people and catch their infections. What to wear? What to wear?

Hello Luscious!

Oh yeah, I could definitely look like that.