Trifecta

All three of these emails hit our customer service inbox this morning. I haven't changed anything except to remove their names (by the way, to help you out ... my company sells office products):

I have recently purchaced a 750 gr box of rasin bran which had adissapointingly small amount of rasins.I am a HUGE rasin bran fan ,I eat itat nite ,supper, whenever. I really hope that you value a customer of 20odd years and send me a cupon of some sort .I am very sorry that thishappened because I love your product,yours truly

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Message: I am appalled at your ass kissing of the Religion of Peace. Alltheir evil holidays are in my face on my American Desk Calendar purchasedfrom your company. Do you know what the Ashura Holiday is? Look it up. Any so-called religion that places more significance on protesting cartoonsthat were printed in Sept. 2005.... and dances in the streets when 3,000+people are murdered in the name of Allah...doesn't deserve space on myAmerican calendar...or a daily first report on my American news channel. Iam disgusted by those who keep appeasing these monsters and their monstrousdeeds. I will not be ordering your Islamic Calendar anymore for my office.
Ala Akbar!

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to whom it may concern:
i am so pissed off right now i'm trying to hold back on telling you idiots exactly where you can shove this case of paper towels. the item i ordered DOES NOT fit the kimberly-clark dispenser. this is YOUR fault, not mine. when i looked up the dispenser, which i already own, your site offered me paper towel rolls to order with it. all i needed was the paper towel rolls and it DOES NOT fit. the inner tubing is too small for the dispenser holder arms.
i should have known better to go with an office depot, staples, etc. and not some wannabe.
fix this. now.